Return to:
Divorce ArticlesOr:
Recent Divorce Articles7 Paths to Infidelity
http://www.affairrecovery.com/More and more people these days are “stumbling” into affairs. Are you aware of the signs of infidelityThere are a lot of habits that are becoming more and more common that will actually lead you straight to an affair if you’re not careful. Check the list below and if you’ve got similar habits, you might be headed for trouble.
1. Saying “I’d never do that”
Never say never. It gives you a false sense of security which can actually make you more vulnerable to straying, especially when combined with the other habits below.
2. You lack good boundaries
Making good habits of what to say and do with the opposite sex is a good way to prevent temptation from arising. Don’t do or say something about which you would be uncomfortable if your mate knew or saw. Just don’t go there.
3. Unrealistic expectations of your mate
Your spouse really can’t be everything to you forever. He/She may seem like the person of your dreams, fulfilling your every need for a time, but being everything and everyone to one’s spouse is too demanding for a mere mortal.
4. Flirting
Sure it’s fun, but why is that? You’re getting validation. Validation makes you feel good about yourself and the person who’s validating you. But if you feel too good about that person, you’re gonna get yourself into trouble. Instead, cultivate a culture of flirting with your spouse. Wink at him from across the room, feed her a cheesy pick up line while she’s brushing her teeth.
5. Filling your schedule
Marriage takes work and time spent together – and not just the 2 minutes after you collapse into bed but before you fall asleep. Schedule time for your spouse if you have to. It’s more important than any business meeting. Determine whether you are over-scheduling in order to avoid family time.
6. Compare a potential lover to your spouse
Affairs are by definition non-committal relationships that are usually defined by a romantic notion that everything will be rosy. Of course that looks better than marriage! But it’s apples to oranges, or maybe wax apples to real oranges. The wax fruit (like most affairs) looks good, even perfect, but that’s really all it can do – look good. When it comes to real life eating, it tastes horrible, wrecks your insides and doesn’t nourish. So just like you really can’t compare real fruit to wax fruit, don’t try to compare a potential lover to your spouse.
7. Sharing with someone else
Are you sharing secrets or information, particularly about the downside of your marriage, with someone you could ever in a million years be sexually attracted to? How about sharing personal information that you don’t feel comfortable sharing with your mate? You’re opening a door to an intimate relationship with that person which is just a stones throw away from an intimate sexual relationship. We know it’s tempting to share, but it’s a bad idea.
This is far from a complete list or complete explanation of what sort of behavior can lead you, unintentionally, to cheating on your mate. Sex and everything that is remotely related are obviously complicated topics connected with self-image, perceptions, past experiences, cultural norms, and a host of other factors. But this short list can act as a preliminary guide to looking at your behavior honestly and considering whether you might cheat on your mate
Author:
Erin ChambersAbout the Author:
November 28, 2007 11:48:04 PM
